Mary Jane Charles
The Last Wishes Facilitator
In the world of end-of-life planning and estate management, Mary Jane Charles shines as a beacon of hope and practicality. Mary Jane has dedicated the last eight years to ensuring that individuals and families navigate what can be seen as a daunting task: gathering one’s final wishes and detailed instructions all in one place!
She’s the guiding force behind “Last Wishes’ n Support”, known affectionately as “The Last Wishes Facilitator.” In this role, Mary Jane provides a unique and compassionate approach to this critical portion of life and legacy planning.
In this exclusive feature of the December-January issue of The Affidian Magazine, we focus on Mary Jane Charles, a woman who experienced “the abyss” of not having any of her spouse’s essential final documents upon his sudden passing in 2015.
Mary Jane Charles’, nicknamed MJ, life has been a tapestry of diverse experiences. Born in Brooklyn in the early 50s, her family relocated to Long Island, New York; this included her four significantly older siblings and their grandfather.
With Irish roots on both sides, the household upheld cherished Irish traditions, embracing storytelling, valuing education, and maintaining unwavering faith. Festive gatherings of nieces and nephews enriched holidays, wakes, and weddings.
The tragic passing of her first husband due to ALS at the young age of 27 triggered MJ’s rapid transition to maturity. During the 1970s, the concept of “final papers” was far from common. Wills were predominantly seen as documents reserved for the elderly. Even though she and her husband had conversations about their wishes, nothing was ever formally documented or signed.
There was an assumption that the family would honor his wishes and her promise to uphold their mutual agreement. However, reality didn’t align with this assumption. This initial encounter with final wishes left a lasting imprint on her.
Having encountered this circumstance once again, MJ realized the significance of knowing and possessing all the pertinent information about her spouse’s health, medications, and documentation for everything from vehicle and home papers to household bills and banking details.
Having discovered that 85% of her daily angst and frustration during that time stemmed from avoidable uncertainties, it became a compelling call to action. She believed and now knows that no one, particularly women, should ever live through the fear, uncertainty, and confusion of unexpected circumstances over which they have no control or say.
This time, MJ managed to transform a series of challenging events into a valuable learning opportunity. She had a clear vision seeing this confusion and transforming it into a learning experience. The piles of paper on her dining room table related to the so-called estate she inherited became chapters of ideas and insight. And thus, a book was born of this uncertain time in her life’s journey.
MJ harnessed this realization and the accompanying insights, crafting them into the outline of a book. Her first published book – “Surviving the Business of Dying, Why Final Papers Matter” was published after the estate finally closed 18 months later.
Motivated by the necessity to start afresh, MJ embarked on a journey to San Francisco. She often likens this new phase of her life to her “Mary Tyler Moore” days, drawing parallels to the television show where a young, independent woman resides in Minneapolis and lives independently.
It was a significant time of change. When she arrived, she resumed using her maiden name, found an apartment and a job, and completed her B.S. within two years at the University of San Francisco.
She currently resides just outside Raleigh, NC.
In the course of her life and career, Mary Jane faced obstacles like anyone else. However, she persevered, often noting, “I won’t do that again!” Despite occasional moments of self-doubt, she refused to yield, embracing a “have nothing to lose” mindset. Her resilience is sustained by humor, a knack for landing on her feet, and a steadfast belief in herself, guiding her through most challenges.
A critical turning point in her career arrived with the choice to transition full-time into writing. Despite excelling as a bookkeeper for 20 years, a field she was adept in but lacked passion for, she recognized the significance of pursuing what genuinely ignited her soul.
Her book, “Surviving the Business of Dying, Why Final Papers Matter,” earned a “Finalist” award in its genre at the 2019 International Bookfest, garnering praise for her narrative. However, in response to inquiries on how and where to begin, she developed a companion workbook of the same name. These publications now form the foundation of “Last Wishes ‘n Support.”
She says the process she provides are both straightforward and easy; “Just write it down.”
What sets Mary Jane apart from others in her field is her practical, though compassionate, approach to end-of-life planning. Having twice experienced firsthand the chaos that ensues when someone passes away without clear instructions, she is on a mission to change this narrative.
For her, while wills and legal documents are legally required and important, her mission is about providing a holistic solution that allows individuals to leave a legacy of love and care for their families. She refers to this as “their nitty-gritty, everyday details.” These are detailed instructions that ensure the will functions effectively!
MJ emphasizes, “It’s not just for you; it’s for the ones you leave behind – the ones you love. Document the everyday details of your life and gather them in one place.” Her accompanying workbook acts as the centralized location to consolidate these details.
The “Surviving the Business of Dying, Why Final Papers Matter” workbook is meant to be shared with one or two trusted individuals, ensuring that those responsible for carrying out the last wishes can find comfort and guidance within these essential pages. They are directions meant to be followed precisely as instructed.
Crafting a straightforward process for individuals in need of compiling last wishes, whether for themselves or assisting a loved one, proved to be a valuable gift in hindsight. Recognizing her ability to aid others in real-time with clarity and profound empathy, this venture evolved into a coaching and personal growth business. This passage has taken her to new geographical places and led to significant personal development.
MJ’s journey emerged as a heartfelt odyssey, one that echoed the universal dread of facing life’s abyss without essential documents. Her story became a beacon, guiding readers through the emotional turmoil of grappling with unexpected circumstances, drawing empathy, and igniting a shared passion for preparedness and foresight.
MJ now lives with her newfound companion, Mojo, her black and white tomcat who appeared at her doorstep last winter. She finds joy in gardening, adores Broadway shows, and cherishes special occasions.
Her daily walks serve as a vital means of connecting with her neighbors and the world around her. The beach, particularly during storms, holds a special place in her heart, evoking a blend of childhood memories and a profound sense of wonder.
Looking ahead, Mary Jane eagerly embraces her newfound visibility and the adventures it promises. She envisions her book, “Surviving the Business of Dying, Why Final Papers Matter,” along with its companion workbook, as a necessity for all adults over 18. Beyond serving as a tool for estate planning, this duo is also intended as a means of preparing for life’s significant milestones.
Her journey continues, promising many more books to be written and stories to be shared with all of us!
Mary Jane Charles has emerged as a force of positive change in the field of end-of-life planning, offering individuals and families a way to navigate the challenging waters of estate management with grace and clarity. Her work is a testament to the importance of preparation, compassion, and leaving a legacy of love for those we hold dear.
In her own words, she declares, “I love what I do.”
Affidian Magazine Cover Feature
Mary Jane Charles
https://lastwishesnsupport.com/
