Should We Punish or Nurture Disruptive Students: Part I

I have been focused on a few simple desires for some time: education, youth, and metaphysics, and how to incorporate them to bring the outdated education system out of the industrial era and into the present time—the 21st century, with all its technologies, innovations, inventions, discoveries, and knowledge.

When I was first deciding on a topic for my dissertation, I did extensive research on “Incorporating Metaphysics into Schools.” [Original Dissertation Focus]

My dream of owning a school dates back to my much younger years and has been floating in the back of my mind ever since.

After working with countless children, including raising two of my own, I realized that my desire wasn’t just about getting my own children through the school system but about helping all children, especially in this country, to get through the system better prepared and ready for life as adults.

The education system, as it currently stands, has not created the environment, courses, and emotional, mental, and spiritual support that every child needs to thrive and succeed in this world.

During my years as a substitute teacher, I experienced firsthand all the rules, regulations, and practices that take place in public schools, and I was not happy. With my hands tied behind my back, there were only small areas where I knew I could make a difference—and I did every chance I got.

One such area is the notion of suspension, whether in or out of school. To me, these suspensions were golden opportunities to really get to the bottom of a child’s misbehavior. But instead, they were punished and forgotten.

In-School Suspension

Students who received in-school suspensions came to school like every other child on any other morning. But on that day, they were required to report immediately to a classroom, where they would spend the next full day, days, or even weeks in what felt like a punishment cell block.

They were to get their breakfast and then march in single file to a room to eat at their desks. They were to spend the rest of the day sitting at that desk. Part of the punishment was not socializing with their friends or each other—no talking, no interaction, no eye contact.

The rest of the day was spent doing classwork prepared by that day’s teachers. During lunch, the same single-file march resumed. They would get lunch and return to the same room—no talking, no eye contact, no socializing.

Then, at the end of the day, they were the last to leave the classroom, just in time to catch the bus or walk home. They returned the following day and did the same thing again. When suspension [read jail time] was done, they returned to class. And that was that. These students usually end up getting into trouble over and over again and suspended over and over again.

Out-of-School Suspension

The out-of-school suspension was an even sadder situation. These children often came from working-parent or single-parent homes, meaning they were left at home or on the streets without any supervision.

Let me share a story from one such situation.

Upon returning to school, a student thought it was funny to share his out-of-school suspension story. (These kids used to share way too much with me, but I’ll explain that later.)

He went on to tell me how, during his suspension, he and another student were bored and decided to take a bag of flour from his mother’s pantry and throw it at cars as they drove by. Needless to say, it was a busy street, and an accident was just waiting to happen.

Most people swerved, honked their horns, called them names, and kept going. One particular driver was so upset that he stopped his car and pursued them, though they got away.

Now, there I was, with knowledge of vandalism, mischief, and plain stupidity. Should I send them to the principal’s office, where they will be suspended again—maybe even expelled?

I had to look at the situation from both angles: Why was this child suspended in the first place? How did the system allow them to be out there unsupervised? Where is the imbalance? Where is the system failing these students?

A Teachable Moment

I sat this student down and explained to him the true magnitude of his actions. What if someone had been in an accident? What if the man had caught them? What if the police had gotten involved? What if he had been expelled from school? How would his future look? How would his parents feel? How disappointed would they be in him? And most importantly, how disappointed was he in himself?

His joy and laughter soon turned into a frown of sadness and regret. He admitted that it was wrong and stupid and that he hadn’t thought about the consequences at the time. He was angry because he felt he shouldn’t have been suspended in the first place.

So many opportunities for things to go wrong. But what if we had a different system in place?

• What if there were a proper, full-time counseling program for these students?

• What if, instead of spending all day doing busy work, we took the time for group counseling and guided writing to release anger, frustration, and fear?

• What if we actually asked them how they were feeling?

• What if we were really there for them?

When a child is suspended and punished by being isolated for a time and then returned to class without guidance and counseling, how much more damage are we contributing to their wellbeing instead of focusing on their positive transformation and development?

That boy who threw the flour at cars was not expelled or suspended again. He went on to college, graduated, and is now part of society. I believe he’s a dad himself now.

It’s time we make changes—not to punish, but to nurture these students. They are not bad, obnoxious, incorrigible, or all those other words used to describe a child who is hurting, sad, insecure, and just seeking love and attention.

Let’s do right by them. Let’s bring about change in Childhood Development classes and strategies that will guide the youth to be an essential part of society. Help us “Transform Earth Together”