The Narcissist and The Conscious Mind

When we don’t manage and control our conscious mind, we lose ourselves and become a personality we didn’t choose to be. In the case of a narcissist, a narcissist is truly a mental health patient who needs lots of counseling and treatment. A narcissist is a person whose ego so completely believes in the story the conscious mind created that the story becomes a reality in their perception.

When the story gets attention, the narcissist then embellishes it even further to get a better reaction from its audience, and thus, they also become pathological liars. From the outside, we believe that they are in charge of their actions, but in reality, they don’t see anything wrong.

They believe they are honest, truthful, caring, and generally good people. People enjoy them and their stories. However, elaborate stories attached to prominent personalities create monsters who get away with a lot because they are charming and likable, but the darkness lies very close right under the surface.

They can become extremely dangerous people. When dealing with a narcissist, you must be on guard all the time. A narcissist is charming, and you’ll be in their cage before you even realize how you got there.

Getting in is the easy part. Getting out is scary. You never know when the next outburst will be. You don’t even know at what level this outburst will escalate. It is sudden, very calculated, extremely mean with a hint of enjoyment, the smirk, the satisfaction of watching you squirm and retreat into this tiny, small person, too afraid to talk or have an opinion.

Knowing that the only way to stay safe is to be complacent, quiet, and agreeable. Outsiders will say, “Just walk away.”

Walking away is not an option.

A narcissist enjoys two types of attention: accolades and the drama of disapproval. They get accolades when they tell a story, and people laugh and praise them. They enjoy being the center of attention. They control the environment. Whatever they say or do is always the right way, and there is no other way. You either agree and follow them blindly, or you disagree and get the wrath—disapproval.

When there is disapproval, they turn on you. The attention then comes from watching the fear in someone’s eyes. They inhale that smell of fear like a hungry wolf who inhales the scent of death just before pouncing on its prey, knowing the satisfaction of food to eat.

It is calculated without thinking about the consequences for others. This behavior goes beyond selfishness. It’s about power. It’s more than “it is all about me,” what they call the Napoleon complex- Tiny is stature, big in power.

There is satisfaction in dominating and controlling others. It gives them a rush. Yet, they believe they are reasonable, kind, patient, and understanding people. It is terrifying to watch from up close and personal. They then defuse the situation with an apology or laugh it off like the victim is the overexaggerator, making it up.

“It wasn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be. Stop being a baby.” They then finish it off by belittling you and making you feel like it was your fault- gaslighting. And then the blame – “You triggered me. You made me angry. You didn’t do what I asked.” All the blame goes to an outside fault – whether it’s a person, a situation, or a circumstance.

If they can’t control it, they figure out how to manipulate it—as long as they win at all costs.

Most abusive relationships begin as the foundation of an insecure person in need of attention, acceptance, accolades, and acknowledgment. They learn that by being semi-bullies, they can get what they want and get others to do their bidding.

Over time, this skill becomes so refined that we, on the outside, miss the subtle hint of their insanity.

Going back to the basics of Self-Mastery, these individuals must address the need for blood at all costs before they can heal.

Remember that the conscious mind constantly explains the reason why we do what we do. It tells us we did the right thing. “I did it to teach someone a lesson.” “I did it because I will not be disrespected.” “I did it because .. .” fill in any and every reason you can imagine.

An unmastered conscious mind will control your behavior, actions, and life.

Treating and healing a narcissist is a challenging task. Remember, they are not aware that they are doing anything wrong. In their minds, they are justified by the conscious mind, which acts as their cheerleaders.

Ironically enough, the conscious mind is in control and does all the manipulation. People identify with the conscious mind. Undoing those learned traits is a long and arduous journey. But first, the individual needs to see it to believe it. Remember, they don’t know that they are doing anything wrong.

Separating the individual from a faulty mindset is the first step to transforming their beliefs and behavior. This is done by addressing the conscious mind and the constant chatter inside—making up stories, fixing them, changing them, and adjusting them to fit their present situation.

A pathological liar may take a lying detection test and pass with flying colors, not because they are not lying, but because they honestly believe their stories, which triggers all the biological senses to agree.

In my upcoming book, Reverse Engineer Your Lifestyle—Achieving Self-Mastery, [title undecided], I reveal self-mastery and how you can rebuild your conscious and subconscious mind by aligning with your Soul’s Mission to redirect you on the right path to creating your best life.